Friday, February 4, 2011

Nothing a young person wants to hear

I am fairly young in my school. I'm 22 years old, and fresh out of college. I have a lot of technical knowledge, but not a lot of experience. I can be good at my job, but I can also be really, really, really bad. I'm not adverse to getting ideas, and I put them into play as I can see them working out.

However, I do have a lot of technical knowledge. Espeically when it comes to implimenting programs in a school because I've been given a lot of theory and seen them put into place. Does this mean I know exactly how, no, but I'm working on it.

My teammates have noticed I'm getting stressed. Yes, I am. A lot of my stress stems from the fact that nothing in our school is pinned down. It seems like a lot of guesswork based off of research that no one actually wants to do anything with except for the fact that we're being forced to do so. So yeah, as a go-doer, I'm stressed.

Yesterday my "mentor" came to talk to me. She'd noticed I was getting stressed and wanted to check up. However, she also said that I was taking too much on and that I needed to focus in the classroom. I knodded and agreeded, except I refused to step down from the RTI committee because I love the RTI committee. I love it. It's good for MY instruction. Somewhere in the middle of it I said, "I probably know as much as X-Teacher does about the RTI process." Did I say I absolutly knew more? No. Did I leave room for doubt, even in my mind, yes. Do I really think I know more about implementing the process as X-Teacher does, no! However, I know more about it than teachers who were teaching before the law was passed and have never taken classes on it. My mentor didn't take this very well and to make along story short told me I need to respect my "elders" more. (In as many words too.)

Really. Really. I know I'm young enough to be her daughter, but really? I'm a professional too. When someone has more knowledge I listen. Do I give my input? SURE, I'm a professional. However, when faced with people with more experience I listen. What my mentor has just done has alienated me from her support. Rather than reassure me that she really does believe I can teach, she has made me into a child again in her eyes.

Am I doing too much? Yeah, probably. Am I stressed? Yeah. But I'm a teacher. I think they go together.

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