Monday, September 6, 2010

A Start

It's been a long time since I last posted, but a whole lot has happened. In that time I achieved employment at Madison Simis Elementary School here in Phoenix Arizona. I had a grand total of 4 hours of preparation in the classroom to begin the year. In that amount of time I was able to a)get the desks sorted, b)hang some butcher paper on the wall and c) make a huge mess of all the random materials I was given.

It is week four now... and I'm struggling. My class is the nicest set of children that a teacher could ask for. They're sweet and innocent - but learning is just not happening. Part of this problem is the talking. Now that nervousness has worn off the kids chatter and are out of their seat constantly. CONSTANTLY. I am at my wits end, so I went to go talk to Judy Webb, our 'mentor' person. She gave me some suggestions and even came to sit into my classroom to help me determine where the talking was originating.

She also gave me a book which I have now flipped through. What I took from is not a whole lot a hints to help me along, but one big discouraging message- my classroom problems really /are/ all my fault. I guess I allowed people to convince me that I'm good at classroom management, when really I'm no better than anyone else who ever stepped foot into a classroom.

My career has gone from something I love to do... to something I dread waking up for every morning. I come home exhausted every night. I can barely make myself do the bare minimum. If this is me after just four weeks of school how am I ever going to make it to the rest of the school year.

Everyone has such high expectations of me and I feel like I'm letting everyone down.

Right now? The adventure in learning is a complete nightmare.

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